Friday, 12 April 2013

 
 
CREATURE MOVIE REVIEW - WORST HORROR FILM EVER?
 
To answer that question staright away, no, no this pathetic excuse for a B-movie horror is not the worst film i've ever seen, but it is a very top contender for that infamous title. From bad acting that would look bland on any typical soap opera, to camera work that looked like a person with Parkinsons Disease was operating it, to special effects that are just awful and outdated even for a film that only came out in 2011!
 
So what is this rubbish about? The films plot is all over the place, it starts out with a group of friends driving along a stretch of road {for reasons that the film doesn't bother telling you the viewer about} and make a stop in a very backward town in the middle of nowhere, where you can imagine how over the top and awkward they sound and act, and after hearing an urban legend about a man, who after losing the love of his life when she is killed by a white aligator, becomes one with the creature and somehow is transformed into a half breed aligator/human thing. Yes, it does sound terrible and to the films credit, the creature looks decent, bare in mind though that it is the best part of what is an absolute pile of crap. From that moment there are scenes of incest, plot "twists" that you see miles in advance, acting of the lowest possible quality, and plot holes that are ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, i like coemdy horror movies, but this is'nt even clever enough to be labelled a comedy horror which in my opinion if marketed and written as such, would have saved this film from falling into the category of one of the lowest grossing cinematic releases in film history. The group of friends are complete idiots, and why does it seem in horror movies nowadays there has to be a slut, a jock, a nerdy guy/girl, and a stoner guy or girl in near enough every horror film?! Cabin in the woods perfectly illustrated that fact to comedic effect, this however didn't and felt insluting to me viewing it.
 
 
I would never want anyone to have a film review from me totally spolied,by as i hope nobody ever sees this rubbish i will spoil the end of the film, sorry in advance. Our one remaining male survivor/hero, after rescuing his girlfriend from the hillbilly locals and the "creature" and their ritual,and after seemingly defeating the beast, the beast re-appears and drags the couple into a black hole {which by the way appears out of absolutely nowhere!} in which as a viewer you expect to be shown a scene where they fight and defeat the beast or die in their efforts right?? No. The next scene shows the morning after, shows no fight scene, but shows the couple escape from the mysterious black hole, with the male hero holding the creatures head! WHERE WAS THE FIGHT SCENE? The only interesting part of the film we do not get to see!! WHY??
 
{Deep breaths} sorry about that, but this film has angered me due to how bad it is with bad not being the word i want to use but as i won't use swearing on my review i will keep it clean. This is without doubt a joke of a film. There is no effort there at all. I will never tell anyone not to see a film unless i genuinely believe you will regret it,alot, but this is awful. Its an hour and a half of your life that you won't get back. Its on Netflix, Lovefilm and wherever online you can get movie streams so if you are into torturing yourself with terrible movies, still don't watch it!
 
My Rating - 1/10
 
Positives - Film is short, Creature looks decent, Decent music score to attempt to build tension
Negatives - {I'm only allowed 3?!} Acting is a joke, not scary, one of the worst films ever made
 
Thanks for seeing my review guys i appreciate every view :} Comment below let me know what is the worst film you have ever seen? and explain why please share your pain! {Its ok you're amongst friends here} I will have 3 new reviews out to you guys next week including the highly antisipated Evil Dead remake. Take care :}