Monday, 13 May 2013

BIRDEMIC : SHOCK & TERROR MOVIE REVIEW
WORST MOVIE EVER MADE!
As some of you who have me on Facebook know, I "stumbled across" this "film" a few weeks ago for the first time after seeing a Youtube reviewer react to the film saying it is the worst movie ever made, I saw this as a challenge and didn't believe it could be that bad, then I saw the trailer, oh dear god.
But I still thought it might be a silly B movie horror cult classic, then I watched the film, and now I believe that death cannot come soon enough! This is without doubt the worst, poorly acted, worst use of special effects, lighting, and camera angles I have ever seen in my life and the only horrific thing about this, is that it's now being released {U.S Import} on DVD and Blu Ray! WHY??!!
The film starts on a brilliant note with without doubt the most annoying opening title song ever produced and a pointless 5 minute shot of our main character Rod, in his car, just driving, with the camera constantly shaking, yes indeed the song playing still makes my skin crawl every time I hear it! So who is Rod? A young software salesman who one day while in his local coffee shop spots a attractive young woman he went to high school with, called Natalie, and can I also say these two are the worst actors I've ever seen in my life, they look gormless throughout their terribly written dialogue scenes. A couple weeks go by and in some of the worst news channel studio effects ever made news breaks out about hundreds of birds and seagulls being found dead in Silicone Valley beach, again with some terrible acting to boot. After Rod and Natalie spend a "romantic evening together" in a local motel, they are "attacked" by dozens of birds, now I know this film is heavily influenced by Alfred Hitchcock's classic film The Birds but at least in that film the birds were genuinely creepy, the only way I could possibly describe how bad the birds look is if I were to tell you they look fresh off Microsoft Paint, at best! These are without doubt the worst special effects I have ever seen in my life and if the visuals don't make you cringe, along with the terrible acting, the HUGE delay between them being attacked and when they try to hit the birds, then the sound effects of the birds will have you tearing you're hair out! It's torture!
One of the other huge problems with this film is the dialogue scenes where both main characters are in different locations, you see Rod on his phone talking to Natalie to meet him for a date at a Asian restaurant, there is a good 2/3 second gap when the camera pans to the responding person and it is so obvious anybody can see it! It is laugh out loud bad at times, as well as all the other things I've listed about this tragedy of a film. Rod and Natalie come across a gas station where next to a abandoned car they find a little girl who is crying about the birds killing her mother, then as if they were psychic they automatically know, without asking the girl if she had any siblings, where the girls little brother was locked in the boot of the car! It doesn't make any sense, but then again, nothing in this film does, it really has to be seen to be believed! One more thing, after rescuing the kids from the gas station and stumbling across more bad actors, I mean "survivors" they are attacked by a large flock of the killer birds, but I reckon Stevie Wonder must have taught them how to shoot a gun as nearly every shot is way off where the birds are, yet they hit them perfectly, again with the worst CGI blood effects you will ever see. This may sound like a rant more than a review but with as many good films I have seen in my life, there is many, many bad ones and this is the very top of the crap pile I'm sorry to say. The budget for this is obviously very small so some things such as special effects can be forgiven, slightly, however the acting is cringe worthy, especially the now infamous "Boardroom" scene. Would I recommend this film, no, but it is on Lovefilm/Netflix or online wherever and even the full film is available on YouTube so even if you're slightly curious, and you enjoy torturing yourself, or your friends, then check it out, and you will be left open mouthed at how bad this actually is, my review doesn't do it justice, and I feel I've covered a lot of this!
My Rating - 1/10
Positives - There's fun to be had but only at how bad the film is!
Negatives - Acting, Lighting, Music, Score, CGI Effects, Sound Effects, Huge delays in dialogue scenes, The main message of the film is global warming and how the birds aren't the evil ones, humans are! {and they bash you over the head with this message over, and over, and over again}
Yes the message of Global Warming is very important I know that, but the way they blatantly force this topic down your throat for the whole film feels pathetic in my opinion and very self centred.
Thanks for reading my review guys, the next big film I will be reviewing will be Hangover 3 which is in 10 days so I will be doing one more bad film review, and then two of my favourite films ever, leading up to the Hangover film review :}
Feel free to comment below if you have seen this piece of "art", or even better, have you seen a film worse than this? God help you if you have but I want to know what was it? and why was is so bad? If you like this review you can +1 this, subscribe to my blogs so you don't miss any of them, leave a comment below about anything you may want to ask or know, share with other people either on Google+ or other blog sites, whatever you want! :}
Take care!